12 things I wish I knew as a first time mom (Concluding Part)

See the previous post here.

Hi guys, here are the remaining 6 things I have learned on the journey of motherhood. Enjoy and share your thoughts!

7. Mess is great

Making a mess around the house is part of a child’s learning experience. Don’t be so hung up about having the perfect living area that your kid can’t create a horrible mess freely. Let them explore. Let them feed themselves, Let them drink from a cup and let the water spill. Let them paint (hopefully not your walls!). Let them run around. Take away your fine china and delicate pieces of furniture. So that they dont hurt themselves and hurt your pocket by breaking that precious lamp from Timbuktu! Once it is in a safe and healthy environment, don’t stop them. This is part of how they learn.

8. Don’t preempt your toddler’s needs all the time

I had a timetable for everything for my son which essentially meant I turned myself to a mini god in my son’s life. Remember that Bible verse: And it shall come to pass, that before they call, I will answer; and while they are yet speaking, I will hear. Yes, that was Temi.  Any mild hiccup was promptly met with room temperature water. The slightest cough or rash led to either a trip to the hospital or pinging my paediatrician friend after I must have googled the issue to death.

I preempted every single need and now, I know better. Let them find a way to communicate those needs to you. It helps a lot. Take it easy. Enjoy the journey.

9. Understand your child

Understand each child. Spanking is not good for every child while some children require it. Some kids need a bit of raised voice at important intervals to aid effective communication. Yelling does not work on my first son at all. He complies when you kneel to his level and gently tell him WHY he should go and brush his teeth and why it is time to eat his breakfast and why drinking coke is okay for mom but bad for him. I’m still studying baby number 2 to see which method will suit him. I have learned that this same Bible that says foolishness abounds in every child but the rod of correction will drive it far from him iss the same Bible that says “Parents, do not treat your children in such a way as to make them angry. Instead, raise them with Christian discipline and instruction” and also says, “a soft answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger”. So be wise and apply principles correctly.

10. Seek knowledge

As a lawyer, I spend time and energy looking for ways to improve my craft. At work, trainings are organised and we are appraised twice a year to ascertain and assess how well we are performing for our respective levels. So because I know one day, I will need to explain why I am doing what I am doing, I am deliberate, I am intentional, I am focused. I work hard. I want my output to be excellent. The same thing goes for all other aspects of our lives. We need to seek knowledge. We need to ask questions. We need to read books and attend seminars on parenting. Follow parenting pages on Instagram where real issues are discussed and you can read comments that will enlighten you. You cannot just assume everything will come to you naturally. Sometimes, we all need a bit of training and guidance.

11. Don’t be shy to ask your good friends what their kids are doing

This will help you know how to step up if need be or to chill out where you are being overly dramatic and worrying over nothing. As a first time mom, there is not much to benchmark a child’s progress against other than Baby Center. Have play dates and ask other parents how this parenting thing is going. Hopefully, you will get some truthful responses that will either help you sit up or help you realise you are right on track. The aim here is not to begin the habit of unhealthy comparison of children but to offer some guidance and perhaps, comfort.

12. Enjoy the journey of motherhood

Motherhood is not a punishment for the gift of having a child. No, it is a journey that should be enjoyed. There are loads of challenges but that is part of the package. And solving each one brings a certain level of fulfilment and reward and joy.

So Dear Mama, relax, take a deep breath and say to yourself “I am doing  a great job. I am a great mom and by God’s grace, I’ll keep getting better“.

May God bless our seeds. May they flourish. We shall not have cause to weep over them. They will constasnly bring us joy. May God bless all those looking unto Him for a child with their bundle of joy and soon too! Amen.

Love,

Temi.x

 

 

2 comments

  1. This was a wonderful read indeed and very enlightening. I learnt a lot.However, concerning “fed is best”, as a medical doctor speaking from the health aspect, breast milk is best, nothing else compares to it. If you have cracked or bleeding nipples, after wiping your nipples, just pump into a cup and feed your baby with a spoon as feeding bottles are germ carriers. I would tell you more of the numerous health benefits and otherwise of breastfeeding to you and your baby but I am sure you can get those online on Google. Better still, if you really want to know, you can email me, since my email is available to you. Thanks.

    1. Thank you so much for stopping by. I agree with you on breast milk being the best option. I endure a lot of pain to breastfeed. I still do but had to supplement as I could not 100% rely on it for him. I will be reaching out to you on what to do as i still am in the cracked nipple boat.

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