3 Reasons I Stopped Blogging

Hello everyone! June is here! Welcome to my newly relaunched revamped blog: temiville.com! I have sorely missed blogging and missed you all. A whole lot has happened since I was here last that I really don’t know where exactly to begin. I feel a good way to update you is to let you know why I stopped blogging or rather began blogging in trickles:

I was dealing with too much that I refused to share

So right from 2010 when I started blogging, I have always been an open person. I would share my struggles. I was as open as a book. I let you all in to my hopes, dreams and struggles, from silly things like being addicted to America’s Next Top Model to being afraid I would end up marrying a short man despite being 5 10”  to being scared I would have a monster in law for fear that she would hate me and stress me out. God has allayed those fears: my husband is a six-footer and my mom-in law is the kindest and nicest and sweetest, I could not have wished for better.

But then in 2016, I was faced with a challenge, one that affected me greatly but was not my challenge to share and so I had to internalize my pains and struggles and find alternative outlets to writing. My usual method of penning down my pains was no longer available and I could not go past the burden I felt for this loved one to write on other issues. Now, I have been able to work through the fears I feel and trust God that He intervene in the situation.

I got super busy

I am a lawyer. I work in a fast paced, top Nigerian law firm that I love so much. But one of the “side effects” of this life is you don’t get the luxury of having too much time to spare. My blog is based on original content and therefore I require time to reflect and receive inspiration over coffee. But over time, as I grew in position in my firm, it became increasingly difficult to find “me” time. I usually spend whatever free time I had trying to over-compensate for not being around all day (more on this later), frantically trying to do whatever little I can do before falling asleep. In between all of that, finding time to sit down and think was very tough. Hence, writing frequently slowly became mission impossible.

Along came Baby Number 2

But alas I did find some spare time and along came my second son late last year. Random information: I remember going to get the scan done and finding out I was having another boy. I asked the sonographer: are you sure it is a boy? The poor man stared at me like, errrm yes, I am certain that is a penis I am staring at. I was quite hurt because I really wanted a little girl and had already named her in my head, Princess E.

When I left the hospital, I sent a message to my mom informing her of the sex of our unborn child “Mom, I just did the scan, it’s another boy. I guess God is not interested in giving me my heart’s desire” Big Error! Let me digress, you think I am dramatic, oh Lord, please meet my mom. She is the type of mom who would send you Bible passages because of a post you put up or send you a long message reminding you to put up a distant second cousin’s picture as your display picture because it’s their birthday and they did the same for you 10 months ago! She is also a Tobi fan and comments on Instablog9Ja (Mommy why?!!!). Anyways, I am sure you can guess where I am going with this.

My mom called me right back and instructed me to get on my knees and begin to ask God for forgiveness for thinking those “terrible” thoughts. She walked me through Bible passages, life stories and ended up with her own story of how she had three boys before me. That was her own hint hint nudge nudge way of telling me “God can still give you your daughter. Keep trying”. Lol, more on my mom and her drama later. Now, I am happy and content and very grateful to God for the gift of parenting two awesome boys. I have accepted that I will never have my own biological daughter. My sons’ wives shall be my daughters as I have now hung up my boots on this pregnancy race. I have done my bit, to God be the Glory.

Anyways, I spent most of my pregnancy period being sick and feeling terrible that even when on maternity leave, I just couldn’t find it in me to sit down, look inward and blog. I was either bent over a toilet seat throwing up or suffering anemia and thereafter the worst fecal impaction (I will spare you the definition of and detail on this). I certainly don’t have a rosey pregnancy tale to share.

So, these are some of my reasons for my hiatus. But I have now made certain decisions that I believe should aid my decision to resume blogging properly some of which I shall share with you as we go along.

In sum, since I blogged last, I have:

  • had a second child- a cute little baby boy;
  • gained some weight which I am now fighting to drop (by the way, I lost a lot of weight after baby’s birth then regained it all and some from 8 weeks post-partum- oh what horror! More on that later);
  • made a career defining decision which I shall be revealing soon;
  • decided to be more intentional in everything I do- no more going with the flow, I decide what I want in every area of my life, map out a plan and keep my eyes on the ball as I work towards it: I am deliberate and intentional in my life as a mom, a wife, a lawyer, a home manager, a child of God who wants to grow in the faith, a daughter, a sister, a friend and I shall be sharing my goals as well as practical steps I am taking to achieving these goals.

temiville.com is divided into 5 columns, each of which represents an expression of me:

  • The Wife:  It is under this column, that I will be sharing stories and posts of the journey to becoming a wife after God’s own heart through real tales and fiction. You see, I know exactly what I want out of life and marriage and I know what God wants and sometimes my desires don’t align with His. I am strong yet an emotional woman who binged, first on Cinderella and other Disney fairy tales as a child before graduating to Mills and Boon as a teenager. I cry at weddings including mine, my friends still remind me of my wailing even at my reception. Under this column, you will get to grow with me in my journey.
  • The Mom: this is the parenting corner where I share tips and hacks I have learned or discovered and share tales of how mommyhood is treating me.
  • The Lawyer: this is where I chat about my career as a lawyer and how I am building it. I will also be sharing tips for young businesses especially tech startups.
  • The Travel Enthusiast: my aim is to achieve 35 countries by the age of 35 and I am about 10 countries shy of my goal. Being a parent makes it a bit hard to achieve this but I have been trying and will updating you on both past and future sojourns under this column
  • The Writer: Under this category, you will find my pieces of fiction.

I am also starting my Youtube channel where I vlog about all these aspects of life.

I welcome you to my blog and look forward to sharing with you all. Do have a pleasant month ahead.

Love,

Temi.x

Please follow me on Instagram and Twitter to stay updated. Thank you.

3 comments

  1. I have known you since 2012 and its been such a joy! You inspire me- your go-getting attitude, your strong faith and your super caring nature. There’s something you did for me in 2014 or thereabout that I can never forget and I love you so much for it!!!

    Back to this! You’ve always been an amazing writer. Its an outlet of your passion and dedication to the things you love. Please do not stop even when other things clamor for your time. Your growth has been phenomenal and it is clear that everything happens for a reason.

  2. Awesome, I am so happy about this, am a new follower tho and its been both exciting and interesting discovering your blog??

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