All sortsa people…

In 7 months, I have been through a lot. I have experienced treatment you only read about in novels or watch on TV. Maybe Super Story or something. I have been spoken to harshly, I have been ridiculed. Attempts have been made to destroy my self-confidence and to make me whimper like a lost child. Oh I wish this were an anonymous blog so I can pour out my heart…totally. But I will try my best. I’m not shy or afraid of saying things as they are. But even in my resolute belief that I should speak my mind, wisdom prevails.

People are mean. It has taken almost 30 years for me to come to this conclusion but I do not know why I refused to believe the Bible when it said, ‘The heart of man is desperately wicked, who can know it?’. There’s just something within me that thought that hope existed, people are inherently good, the world is a beautiful place. No, it is not. No, people are NOT inherently good. They are selfish, wayward, unfriendly (unless you have something they need). I have seen horrible people become super sweet because a rich and famous person was before them. The world is really something else, I tell you.

So what does one do? Do you follow the principle whereby you join those you cannot beat? Do you keep being nice to people who are out to use and abuse you? How does one survive in this world? It gets so confusing. You want to assert yourself, but that could be arrogance, stubbornness and pride. You decide to keep mute, but isn’t that folly and stupidity? Didn’t Jesus fight those that were taken His Father’s house for granted?

I guess in reality it wise to take an ad hoc approach to life. Not everyone is mean, not everyone is out to use you. I guess we need God to help us make the distinction and separate people from people. Dealing with people requires a whole lot of wisdom. I have turned to all sorts to be able to analyze and understand people better- from psychology, to temperament assessment, to birth sign, to the Bible. They just keep on bringing something new each day that cannot be found in the books. So what does one do?

I do not profess to be perfect either but it does get tiring dealing with humans.

On the bright side (there’s ALWAYS a bright side), I have met some amazing people in this world. People who would give you their last dime, people who would help you at your lowest, people who don’t wait to be asked but offer, people who make you happy with their never ending jokes and tales, people  who build up your faith in God and help you become/strive towards being a better person. People who show you the meaning of love-the God kind of love, those who come as close to this as humanly possible:

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

New King James Version (NKJV)

4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

I have met all sortsa people since returning home.

PS: I was away this weekend. I went overseas. I went abroad. I went to a foreign land. Okay okay, it was just Ghana but still! It was amazing!!!

Ghana is ahead of us in so many ways I cannot describe. Is it the niceness of people who expect nothing in return? Is it the clean roads? Is it the hospitality that has you thinking, ‘what does this person want from me?’ Is it the fact that generators are back ups there where as in Nigeria, electricity from PHCN is the backup whilst we depend on our gens? Is it the fact that Ghanaians are so plain and honest?

FYI: There’s Barclays in Ghana, as in really??? I was stunned! There’s Holiday Inn, Intercontinental Hotel, Glo, MTN, Airtel, Zenith…Almost everything we have in Nigeria is there. I guess the economy is stable and also the lack of power outage attracts investors as well. Internet speed is comparable to that in the UK (no jokes-at least where I stayed). There are loads of expatriates in Ghana. The houses are beautiful! And these beautiful houses are not just clustered in one particular area like VGC, Lekki, GRA, Ikoyi, Asokoro as is the case with Nigeria. They are everywhere. There is  therefore less apparent inequality.

I really had a great time! It was my friend’s wedding (we met in Grad school). I had promised her that I would attend and I did. Thank God. The wedding was beautiful and I wish them the very best as they start this journey together. I actually felt a tinge of sadness as I left for Murtala. I can see myself living in Ghana mehn…anytime!

That’s all folks



  1. What immediately comes to mind after reading this post is the story in Frank Peretti’s book ‘This Present Darkness’ which I read again a second time last month. You probably have read it but if not, you totally should! Behind all of these people and the pain they bring is the enemy himself, prompting and prodding them to be the worst they can humanly be. Especially against children of God who are trying to live right, in peace, pleasing God. The devil will use everything and everyone he can find to ‘wear out the saints.’ All in the hope that you’ll snap someday and lose it and then he can take it from there.
    I’ve been through things this year – a different type from you though– that have driven it home for me that the devil doesn’t take prisoners, the guy shoots to kill and he’ll use anything. He’ll hit below the belt and hit several times till he completely ruins his target. Sadly, people are a big part of the instruments he uses. Just think how many people’s spiritual highs or ‘after church joy’ experiences have been ruined by some random okada rider or receptionist in some office or even insensitive spouse or friends. We must not be naïve, it’s all part of the wiles of the evil one, designed to give us grief and frustrate our journey.
    The consolation is that we will overcome, God is bigger and larger than the worst of the devil’s schemes. And He’ll give us grace to STAND. So I send you a massive bear hug and pray for God’s love to envelope you and insulate you from all the hurt and pain. Cheers!

    1. Thanks for this response. I have learned a lot from it. We will overcome in Jess’ name.

      “He’ll hit below the belt and hit several times till he completely ruins his target. Sadly, people are a big part of the instruments he uses.” You are so right here! I think we should also ensure we are not instruments for the devil to use to frustrate other believers.

  2. Human beings could be frustrating. Relief only comes one’s way when you do not expect too much from fellow beings. Depending on people could crash one down badly!.

    You really did have a good time in Ghana. Let’s just hope Nigeria get things done soon as they are in Ghana. Abeg, temiville, stay in Nigeria o. Don’t be frustrated to Ghana o. Nija go still better o.

  3. Please what really happened? I am interested in the full gist. Please Temi spread your hard-gotten wisdom and may the God that created Himself bless you.

    1. Amen dear God bless you loads. Well, a lot has happened o. Where do I start from? You know when they say one’s patience is being tested? In fact, one’s Christianity sef is being tested…that’s what I ve experienced. I’ll look for ways to share it sha because I’m sure there are few lessons to be gleaned from it…

      Thankd for your kind comment

  4. Also people have gone through a lot in this life, sometimes through no fault of their own like being born to a cursed family, etc. So naturally they want others to join in so they won’t be the only one to have wasted time.

    But God can restore everything, even change perspective so what you thinbk is lost is not really lost, just that person’s thinkling.

    How many people will give God a lasting chance though? Though serving God can be confusing and complicated sometimes. But He is WORTH IT!!!

  5. Omo I feel u o as regards Ghana. Light years ahead of us. Clean roads (at least in Accra), no rush, d space btwn 2 cars can take anoda car unlike in 9ja where it is bumper to bumper…. they just take their lives calm and easy. Its a place I don’t also mind living but omo, it is hot there too o… Chai

  6. Hi Temi,

    I strongly believe this scripture is a message from God for you and will help you overcome the problem you addressed in your post; its 1 Peter 2-18-25 (NLT)

    18 You who are slaves must accept the authority of your masters. Do whatever they tell you — not only if they are kind and reasonable, but even if they are harsh. 19 For God is pleased with you when, for the sake of your conscience, you patiently endure unfair treatment. 20 Of course, you get no credit for being patient if you are beaten for doing wrong. But if you suffer for doing right and are patient beneath the blows, God is pleased with you. 21 This suffering is all part of what God has called you to. Christ, who suffered for you, is your example. Follow in his steps. 22 He never sinned, and he never deceived anyone. 23 He did not retaliate when he was insulted. When he suffered, he did not threaten to get even. He left his case in the hands of God, who always judges fairly. 24 He personally carried away our sins in his own body on the cross so we can be dead to sin and live for what is right. You have been healed by his wounds! 25 Once you were wandering like lost sheep. But now you have turned to your Shepherd, the Guardian of your souls.

    As verse 24 clearly states “You have been healed by his wounds!”. I’m very sure that the Almighty has healed you of whatever pain or hurt you might have felt from the unfair treatment you get from these kind of people. I hope this word truly blesses you!

  7. I agree with all the positive comments..

    Wow, think about how great u will be with this experiences. I know u can only be stronger and more determined and u will look back and say it was only GOD.

    All the same, pls remain great and be who u are..

    I wana visit Ghana now.. mehn i heard alot is happening there.

    Glad u had fun and glad u back blogging…

    i did miss

  8. totally agree i had a chance to visit Ghana and i absolutely loved it the people are so displined and polite. I can see myself living there too.

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