Where exactly do I start? I don’t know. But all I can say is that I have thoroughly missed blogging. I miss getting inspiration as I pray, sip on my coffee or just live and breathe and observe goings on around me.


God has been very good to me and mine. Law School is as hectic as they say but I find that taking it in in daily doses does help a whole lot. A little every day instead of weekly wholesale reading or God forbid, one month before exams crash reading!!! A friend did it last year and came out with a 2.1 but even she will not recommend her strategy.

So much has happened while I have been away. Sometime last month, a course mate just slumped and died- just like that. It was quite the shocker, despite the fact that I never met him. It makes you realize how fortunate you are to be alive and well. You also know to be grateful for your family and friends whose phone calls you receive each day to gist or even fight but not to share tales of woe. Thank you Jesus for your faithfulness!


My diet plan is coming up well. Lost a bit of weight and now trying to be healthier instead of dieting. I’m also a fan of Green Tea now. Instead of those Chinese ones, I think I’m going to switch to Lipton or any other straight brand. I hear it does wonders for one’s system if taken every night. Those who have followed this blog know of my age long addiction to Coke. I’ve been on and off Coke all through this year. One week, I’m like ‘never again will I drink Coke’, the next, I’m on a bottle a day p. It’s not been easy at all. I guess I know how the druggie feels. I have not had Coke in 3 days but that is not an achievement as I know I am not entirely off it. I can’t wait to be like one of those who say ‘this is my 6th month of not tasting Coke or any fizzy drink’. Wow! I shall dance in glee and give a testimony!


You all know I love to ask JAMB questions on MCLA as I ask you to muse with me. But today’s own is a very serious matter. I have watched loads of Naija movies with all these ‘omoge campus’ doing Aristo and all and we are all like what manner of iranu is this? The one I came across recently is of a different variant. I read the story of a girl who explained how she and this man met and fell head over heels in love, then like an exclusion clause in fine print, she mentions he has a wife. Like I was already so in love with her love tale. It was so beautiful. He was attentive to her, he would pray with her, he was there for her etc. But he is married.

the other woman

Now, my friends have declared me to be too black and white in my approach and that I should learn to understand where people are coming from. So I said, ‘toh, lemme not judge this sister’. But really, is there any justification in this world for liking then loving a married man up to the point he promises to leave his wife for you and you get upset every time you call him and he is with his family and you cry and update your BB status that ‘I can’t share anymore!’? I’m not prone to violence but I do understand why some girls get beaten blue and black by some wives and their friends. Call me anything but I can never understand how you fall in love with another person’s property. It reeks of lack of self worth and only God can seat me down to make me sympathise with any lady who is in possession of any woman’s man. As TD Jakes will say, ‘lose him and let him go’! Lol. It also reminds me of Olivia Pope’s trifling ways on Scandal. I love her professionally but when I think of her and the President, I get hardened. To think the President cannot even stand his own wife anymore because he spends his moments fantasising about Olivia Pope! We need Christ!

But seriously, ladies, get praying o. Like serious praying and fasting as often as you can that God protects you from the heartbreak of another woman chasing you from your own home or even from the pain of your husband cheating or liking another woman. Inasmuch as many have argued with me, yes it is possible to have an infidelity-free home through the Grace of God so it is that grace we need because gehs are not smiling. I mean the person in question went as far as researching on all the things the wife wasn’t doing and turned those areas to her core competence! Lord help your children o!

Anyways, lemme go back my Election Petition notes. I will not claim to plan to blog each day henceforth but at least, I will come here more often and let you all know how things are going and give you more of my musings as they come, hehe!

Thank God for everything and I sincerely do miss you all. Thank you to all those who have given me gentle nudges to write something and to those who literally have jabbed me and threatened to dump my website if I do not update, thank you too. Hehe!!!

I wish you all a lovely month of April.

God bless you!



Avril is French for April 😀


  1. TEMI! Looooooooong time! I don’t even know wether to tell u ‘Welcome back’ or not. Anywaiz, thank God law school is good.
    As for the question, I think its just wrong!, from every angle, to fall in love with a married man especially if u knew from the onset that he was married.
    Love doesn’t just happen to pple, U choose to love. And if u choose to love a married man then that’s on you. Don’t expect him to leave his wife for you.
    And most of these girls that fall for married men, they never fall for the poor ones º°˚, its the rich ones they fall for and then give us crap about how it was “love at first sight” or the man “made” her fall for him. Bulls*!#!

  2. Hi Temi,
    I miss your post. Like Ibukun rightly put it, we choose to love. It is WRONG to love a married man as a single ladies. No reason is acceptable when it comes to loving a married man. I actually don’t think is love. GOD is LOVE and anything CONTRARY TO GOD is CONTRARY TO LOVE. Therefore, a single lady liking a married man is lusting after him. It ain’t love.

      1. I just read the below message on Amebo’s village and I remembered your blog/post:
        “LADIES, Before you date a MARRIED MAN
        you should know this: (Must readand
        1. The only thing he wants from you is sex,
        After Cumming he will be gone. He will
        only sweet talk you again when he needs
        some sex.
        2. He can spend a day with you touring
        beautiful places but at the end of the day
        he will go back to his wife and kids who
        will be missing him.
        3. He is never going to leave his kids and
        wife because of you. He will only be
        fooling you all the time with words like “I
        will marry you, I will build for you a house,
        I will buy for you land, I will take you to
        the driving school, I will buy for you a posh
        car” and many more different lies.
        4. Keep it in your minds that you’re not
        the only one he sleeps with apart from his
        wife. If he can cheat on his wife with you
        then can’t he cheat on you with some
        other lady? Seriously he does. He spends
        his time and money on other babes just
        like the way he does with you.
        5. He really loves his wife that is why he
        married her, he can’t divorce her and he
        can’t marry you. You are just his side dish
        to take off his stress. So his lovingyou is
        for fun and temporary.
        6. He will dump you after using you for
        some other fresh babe; he won’t fulfill
        what he promised you. Those will be lies
        that he told you just to soften your heart
        and to get what he wanted.
        7. Getting pregnant won’t fully trap him;
        He has his real kids and wife at home that
        he can show to the friends and relatives.
        You and your kids will be hidden.
        8. His property and money are his, children
        and his wife. It’s very hard to get a share
        on his property.
        9. You will never be part of his future, so
        stop wasting your time and energy. Cease
        serving your body to him because he gives
        you some money, because he promised
        you something…
        A real lady works hard and gets her own
        money, pays her bills and a man with a lot
        of dime should just be a BONUS. Be wise
        dear Ladies. Get out of that sexual
        network. Stop wasting your time with
        married men. Love guys of your age who
        have true love for you..

  3. #huge hug# Welcome back Temi!! Missed u a great deal. Hope u won’t starve us b4 d next write up is posted ooooo. Av a luvly month of April.

  4. oh my. I’m also trying to get off Teem. I think I’ve done for like 2 weeks now. I hope I can make it a month

    As for falling in love wirmth married men, I agree. If my friend comes and tell me such, I will beat sense into her and it is me that will call the man’s wife.

    Like, how do you know that if he eventually leaves his wife to marry you, he wouldn’t do same to you

  5. oh my. I’m also trying to get off Teem. so I feel your pain. I think I’ve done for like 2 weeks now. I hope I can make it a month

    As for falling in love wirmth married men, I agree. If my friend comes and tell me such, I will beat sense into her and it is me that will call the man’s wife.

    Like, how do you know that if he eventually leaves his wife to marry you, he wouldn’t do same to you

  6. Hey! I was wondering where on God’s earth you went to! Welcome back sha! Glad to know you are doing well in Law School.

    To the matter, am happily and faithfully married with a lil son, and I can say its entirely the grace of God that keeps a home. I got a good christian man, and I strive to be the proverbs 31 woman daily, but even the bible says he who stays awake guarding the city guards it in vain if not for the Lord! Its not impossible to have a happy perfect marriage comprising of 2 less-than-perfect individual, it just takes determination and GOD!

    On the other hand, when I was in 200 level I met this guy, he asked me out for almost 2 years, I figured he was too old for me (he was 10 years older), but we became best friends, shared the same background (broken home etc). I guess in his mind he thought we were dating because 1 day he said he wanted to take me to see his mother and I blatantly refused! That was it, we had a big fight and lost touch for about 2 years. Next I hear he is married. He contacts me again, explains how he was heart broken by me and the lady got pregnant for him and he had to marry her. But it was me he still loved.

    I chopped his story, and we kinda started ‘dating’. He promised we were gonna relocate and start a new life abroad. But as a christian I knew what I was doing was wrong! The Holy Spirit kept ‘pricking’ my conscience. But I kept telling myself we weren’t sleeping together, it was just a lil more than friendship. To cut a long story short, I worked up the courage to walk away from that relationship and I told my husband about it when we met.

    Am just saying its wrong, but please don’t be judgemental, the married guy was like my best friend in the whole world before he got married and I thought we could work it out even after he got married.

    1. Hello Temi, I have been sneaking in and out of your blog every now and then..Finally you are back. I am replying to ” Zee” ‘cos she has been real enough to narrate a situation where ladies fall in love with married men. And hey, she came back to her senses and after admitting that the Holy spirit kept pricking her conscience. Oh, can we just yield to the Holy Spirit over and over again. He will deliver us from all such relationships that the devil has orchestrated only to ruin our lives. People who try to explain sinful and destructive behavior away, I have found out, have problems they haven’t turned over to God, and they console themselves with other people’s terrible experiences. Let’s always take a stand against evil not minding whether we’ve been there or not. If God has delivered us, let’s preach his deliverance to others. Let’s not encourage evil.

    2. Thanks for sharing Zee. I’m really sorry if I sounded judgmental. Not my intention. But as you noted, what you did is not something you would encourage another person to go into. I’m glad you are free and happy now!

  7. Wow! I actually thought you have deleted my email addy from your mailing list. Missed your blogs.
    All the best.

  8. People can be really funny. What i tell such ladies is that what if they find themselves in such situation as in another woman dating their hubby, how would they feel? They rarely say anything tangible. The bible makes it clear its sinful so why indulge in it. These ladies can be very senseless because if eventually the man divorces his wife for them, whats the probability that he won’t do the same to them?

  9. As in…welcome back!! I have been checking and wondering where you’ve been. I know it’s been a while because I don’t think I’ve seen anything from you since my friend and I started our own blog a couple of months ago. Anyway, thank God everything is going well with you 🙂

    Re: the topic. The truth is cheating is cheating. It baffles me that people condone dating married men/women but I chalk it up to the polygamous mentality. Regardless, it is morally and spiritually unacceptable. And before people say “have grace”, there is certainly grace and redemption ( after all that is why Jesus died for us). But that is different from giving a stamp of approval.

    We should be able to speak the truth in love.

  10. Hello Temi…. I am not sure if welcome back is quite the word yet, but am sure glad we saw your presence on this blog incl a post. x

    On the matter of married men/single women. As you lay your bed, that how you will lie on it. We are all of age where we can make decisions and be sure to reap the consequences.

    I am certain that anyone that is intimate with you who can lie to your face will lie about anything and everything.
    On that note, if we live according to the flesh we will abide by the flesh,same with the spirit. Its funny how the wrongs of this world whatever it might be, has been bent to suit our selfish needs and nature.

    It is God’s grace and a level of maturity for a man not to cheat on his wife and viceversa.

  11. uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
    how are you temi and how is everything?..was going to buzz u on ur blog but you beat me to it by posting up…thats good 🙂
    well, others have said it all. what is wrong is wrong and there’s no two ways about it. once you see the ring on the finger or hear the magic word “married” just keep your friendship at a distance cos you might get tangled et al
    when you mentioned Avril, you wont believe my mind went to Avril Lavinge..hehehe..imagine that.
    its good to have you back tho.
    ive changed my blog ad just in case you’re wondering
    so go and have fun and come back with gist

  12. ohh and btw…green tea is very good. i’d recommend you keep drinking it cos it has so many beneficial effects on the system.
    i dont know i its just us or its the stuff they put into tea and coke that just gets one excited. i’m still adjusting to the coke addiction too and God is helping me..

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