Help! I can’t afford her!

I knew what I was getting myself into from the very beginning. I mean, dating Kikelomo, a girl whose mom drives a modest 2000 Camry and dad drives a ‘Baby boy’ yet are happy to buy their daughter a 2013 Camry complete with a driver that was to take her everywhere. Kikelomo was spoilt silly by her parents. They gave her everything and when I say everything, I mean that literally. They’d sacrifice their own pleasures just to make sure she lacked nothing. She is an only child of older parents. Some parents of their ages have her as their last child of 5 kids. She is 26 and her parents are 69 and 65. They had after many years of praying, fasting and waiting and they made it clear to God, the world and to Kikelomo herself that they were extremely grateful to have her.

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I first met Kikelomo in my final year of University. I was on a full Shell Scholarship to study Engineering and she was in her Foundation year. She was very popular as she was extremely friendly, attended events, got photographed everywhere, had loads of friends and even more toasters. When she finally started University, she became even more popular. We all thought she was some coded oil magnate’s daughter.

She bought a car as soon as she resumed school as a proper undergraduate. For anyone who understands how the UK works, you’d know owning a car is a total luxury, especially for a student in a campus university. This was not the US or Nigeria where cars are kind of needed. She was also popular for going home (Nigeria) at the slightest break we were given which most people will just spend in London. There were times she’d go for very short periods for a friend’s party or a relative’s event. I remember once we didn’t see her in Church on a Sunday and next thing, I heard she travelled on Friday morning and was expected that Sunday night. She had gone for her aunt’s 60th birthday party. She lived it up in school back then, majorly.

When we eventually started talking, I was expecting a stuck up, proud girl and I was shocked. Kikelomo deceived everyone o. She’s the total opposite of the facade and is quick to tell anyone that is bold enough to ask that she is not a rich girl but a daughter of people with an overprotective heart, who went out of their way to ensure she had everything they would have given 5 sons. Her parents lived for her and gave her everything she asked for and even those she forgot to mention.

I went to hers and saw that they, indeed live a modest life. However, they spared no expense for their daughter and now that she is getting married, hmm, my folks are tired! At first, it was cute, but now, it is getting alarming. Let me give you guys a quick overview of our joint expenses. Oh by the way, they were quick to offer to pay it all if we are uncomfortable with it and that ticked my proud Ondo dad off. Her dad is Ondo too so it was quite something. Anyways, here goes:

Dress: 450k

Ring: Undecided but Kike showed me one she liked on Tiffany website. Me, I look at price before ‘liking’ anything. Kikelomo looks at the thing, likes it and convinces you to get it. I almost wee-ed in my pants when I saw the price. I mean, was it made from the golden calf? That was almost my entire salary for half the year and I have a good job!

Venue: I see absolutely nothing wrong with all these small, cute, venues around town that can seat 200 guests with the maximum price of 750k which I think is ridiculous but doable. Who are we inviting na? Kikelomo and her co-conspirators have picked about 4 options and the cheapest one (which Kike said she would ‘hate to use’ cost 1.1M)

Number of guests: As I said earlier, I think 100 from each side is ideal with allowance of another 100 mogbo moyas making it 300. Kikelomo says her friends alone are about 100! They are planning for 800 guests!

Photographer: Why should we be having a wedding in Nigeria and fly to Jand to do pre-wedding shoots and then fly our photographer, who lives in England, to Nigeria, accommodate him in a 4 star hotel for 2 nights and still pay him a huge sum?!

Entertainment: My mom goes to RCCG and she says their choir is really good. She is a deacon there and can arrange for them to sing songs at the Engagement and Wedding Reception at no cost and we can also get a reasonably priced DJ. Kikelomo has her list of songs that must be played and has one DJ in Festac that she trusts. His price is about 50k more than the one I know but I didn’t mind because I too know of that DJ’s skills. What killed me is that her dad intends to get KSA for the Engagement and trying to organise Wizkid or Iyanya for Wedding! Where’s The Fish! Those guys are bloody expensive and please, guys, answer me honestly, won’t the DJ do a better job of playing their music than they being there themselves panting and lip synching?

MC: I have this funny friend who MCs for a living. He was once popular and you guys may know him sef : Azadus. I met him at Rodizzio in GRA where he is every Saturday at the Freedom Hall Live Band thingy. Kikelomo no gree o. Her mom knows Sonny Irabor and believes he will bring more class to the event. Sonny Irabor charges like a boss that he is!

Decorator: Let’s not even go there. Is it not just balloons and ribbons? How do ballons and ribbons get to 750k?

Cake: Cakes by Tosan. Google the price

The most ridiculous to me so far is the Wedding Planner. Is this Yankee? Why can’t some of her NUMEROUS friends help her plan? Why do we have to pay someone to help us pay vendors? I’m confused.

So while all these are like jokes and all, truth is, I’m getting really fed up. For parents who have never married off a child, they know too much about wedding planning and it is clear they must have been planning their only child’s wedding since she was conceived and they found out they’d be having a girl. I’m not from a poor home, no. But I have younger ones and aside of that, I see no reason spending so much on ONE day! What about other things? More important other things? More lasting other things?

I get their excitement but I need to value my own parents too and this is getting really exhausting for them.  I know it’s a girl’s wedding but Im beginning to think maybe I really cannot afford her. I’ve not even given you guys the little expenses here and there such as fresh flowers, Louboutin shoes with our initials on the red soles, her insistence that I get a suit from Saville Row instead of from the tailor who makes lovely suits for my clolleages and I at work. The list is endless!

What exactly would you do???

Fed up Freddy

***

Hi people!!!

What’s going on? It’s just 12 noon and I have already been hit by 2 vehicles, one of which was a trailer. I was just fed up. When I spoke to my brothers about it, they asked me why I didn’t get down and take his details. I was too fed up to do that. I ordinarily would get down and rant and rave but today, I just let it go. I have purposed in my heart that my joy is unstealable. When I finally arrived at my destination, the security guard helped me hit the dent out and used engine oil to clean the scrapes so now it looks much better. I’ll find a panel beater later on.

So what do you guys think about Fed up Freddy’s post? Is he being a cheapskate or is Kike’s family being ridiculous? Share your thoughts people. How is it possible to have a fun, classy event without going broke…

That’s all folks!

Temiville.xoxo

temi Written by:

17 Comments

  1. chinco
    October 9, 2013
    Reply

    There’s a word for people like that, they are called, ‘Alaseju’. Its obvious neither one of the couple has any knowledge of economics. Weddings are the most frivolous things one can spend money on, people (esp. Ladies) should focus on working on their marriages, building their homes and providing excellent care and education for their children(even if it means saving before the wedding). Even my relatives who marry in the UK seem to spend less than Nigerians these days and things are more expensive over there. Its sad, really!!!

  2. October 9, 2013
    Reply

    Her family is definitely crazy.

    The best way to have a fun, classy wedding without breaking the bank is to do a small one

  3. Dolapo
    October 9, 2013
    Reply

    I typed an epistle of a reply to this, but it disappeared just like that. I’m too lazy to retype, so I’ll just say they’re a crazy kind of family,,and th guy needs to really pray to GOd Fir wisdom. Then he needs to constantly discuss the practicalities of living together with her. That might help her get her perspectives re-aligned.

  4. Moh
    October 9, 2013
    Reply

    My brother in the lord. Flee from every appearance of evil.

    Ok to be candid, this will never end bruv. If you let this wedding go through you will prob be happy and sad on the day. Then next its an expensive honeymoon,then jetting off somewhere every other week. Now that her folks are paying shez not saying much and you don’t know the extent of her expenses but if you decide to accept this potential gbese in your life then I forsee a rocky future because now you are complaining but you r still willing to bend. Just remember therez only so far you can bend before you break

    That’s what I think

  5. Jade
    October 9, 2013
    Reply

    This will spiral into your marriage and they’ll be making decisions about your children’s school and how they should be raised. I don’t blame your fiancé’s family one bit. That’s their only child. Your responsibility is to let them know you’re going to be her husband, you have other responsibilities and this is what you’ll be spending for the wedding if they want any other thing they can get it on their own terms. If your wife-to-be can’t see things from your perspective now then I wish you all the best in your marriage o.

  6. October 9, 2013
    Reply

    LMBO at Moh’s Comment: My Brother in the Lord, flee from every appearance of evil!

    *cackles* Although, Kikelomo is extremely expensive, dude you proposed to her for a reason. As a man, you have to gently put your foot down and she needs to be a bit more understanding. Yea her family can afford it all, but respect plays a big role in all of this. As respecting you as the Olowo Ori Kikelomo, the babe should chill and allow her future hubby to handle expenses according to his budget. How will her parents perceive you if they begin to notice that you can’t afford Kike’s life? In my opinion, it makes things a bit awkward and if you do not put a cap on it now, like Moh said, it’s only going to go up from here! And I’m referring to the prices! Anywhoo, great write up! Hopefully you’ll be less frustrated!

  7. October 10, 2013
    Reply

    Hmmm.. This is a bit tricky because one has to look at it objectively from both sides.. The fact is that Kikelomo IS the only child of aging parents.. Some of us know how Jacob was with Joseph and his multi-coloured coat that made his brothers despise him.. And Joseph was not an only child oh but he was the child of his father’s old age.. Anyways, what I’m trying to point out is that parents will do outrageous things for a most beloved child not minding the consequence..

    It’s the only opportunity her parents will have to ‘give out’ a daughter or attend any biological child’s wedding. We know in our culture how families get crazy over weddings.. We don’t just have Bridezillas but Famzillas! So this would probably be raised to the power of 100.. Additionally, if they are used to providing as much as possible for their daughter, then a wedding will be the crown I would imagine..

    As the intending groom, Fed up Freddy will need to think carefully if this is something he can live comfortably with for the rest of his life (because this is prob going to continue like this for a lonnnng while!) lol.. But he should also see if this can be contained – Try having an honest discussion with his fiancee.. Let her see reason.. Let him also discern if this is down to ‘wedding fever/madness’ or if she would expect the same always. Has he noticed traits of ‘having her way or the high way’ in the course of their relationship? If so, then he needs to really make a decision.

    Let him also weigh his options – If she really is a pampered Princess (as it seems), does she have other great qualities that make it tolerable + if things never change, will he be able and willing to live with it for the rest of his life..

    As for the wedding – compromise.. Indulge a little (well, much – it’s your wedding afterall), put your foot down here and there but ultimately, make sure that you are both happy. xx

  8. October 10, 2013
    Reply

    I think he needs to talk with her, if they get married, it could become worse.Why spend so much for just one day.

  9. October 10, 2013
    Reply

    His stand on her parents influence and pampering should probably be addressed before the deal is sealed, + she would likely feel unappreciated if she doesn’t get the same treatment from the husband….

  10. tmkamson
    October 10, 2013
    Reply

    I think he should have a talk with her and really tell her and her parents what he thinks. They parents are going to far but one can’t blame them. http://www.secretlilies.com

  11. October 11, 2013
    Reply

    Need for a communication sit-down btw the both of them immediately.
    Can dis guy really live with dolling money of dis kind 4d rest of his life? Cuz it won’t end at d wedding o.
    After spending like dis for a wedding dat’s for once day,wat happens 2d marriage life itself?if he has d cash,its all well and good but if he doesn’t,I suggest he cuts his coat according to his cloth.
    Let him sit down his fiancee and tell her his position on things so she doesn’t enter d marriage with a different idea abt cash and thereby cause a major blow out wen dey are married.cash is one of d main reasons y married couples quarrel.
    Most av different disposition as regards finances and thr shud b a meeting point otherwise kasala go burst.

    http://imperfectlyperfect92.wordpress.com

  12. October 12, 2013
    Reply

    Wow. This is no joke.
    I think this is the start of a long list of unmanageable events in Freddies life.

    She needs to be humbled a little bit with reality.

  13. Onyinye
    October 12, 2013
    Reply

    Is this a joke? If you want to live long, you better forget about this marriage. This is just the icing of the cake you will face worse when you get married; besides her parents will meddle into your marriage. Maybe you leave her so that Adenuga, Otedola or Dangote’s son will marry her. Initials on Louboutin indeed!!!

  14. October 20, 2013
    Reply

    Dear Freddy, you need to know what you are getting into. She has been and still is being spoilt silly. Submission is key for any marriage and la babe needs to submit to you on this one.. Of course you both will compromise. You do know that there is a stinkingly rich boy for every rich girl, if you can’t keep up with the wedding can you keep up with the other things in marriage? I think Kike should consider strongly who she’s in a rel with and know you won’t be doing all that for her in marriage (or will you?)

  15. October 20, 2013
    Reply

    Well, Freddy, I suggest a deep conversation with Kiki. I also concur with 1+the one.
    Talk things out, and really know what your getting into

    In another news. All that money for a wedding???
    Wow! People are boxed sha thassall I can say!!!

  16. kokolodu
    October 30, 2013
    Reply

    Bros, you suppose look before you enter now, some middle part are made of gold, just go and do all she wants may be you are about to dig gold out of the place. I am sure a president or governor is in there. But my advice for you is to go and look for Chidi Imoh wind helped him in one of the races way back. Please if I have my way or know you, you should by now be on a maranthon race away from her.

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