Pregnancy Chronicles 1: How I got pregnant

LOL! More like “Pregnancy Chronicles” not HOW it happened… *tongue out*

I got married in April and saw those twin lines on Sunday the 1st of June. I still remember exactly how I felt. Thank God, I’m not barren and will not have any problems conceiving. All of my teenage years were filled with trepidation over conception and birth. I was so frightened that I will have to be going from one Pastor to one Gynaecologist about getting pregnant as I had been surrounded with people who had struggled with this and the thought left me so numb with fear. I was also Team #GiveBirth9MonthsPostWedding and I confess that I wept when I saw my first post wedding period *covers face*. I won’t bore you with the details but I scared the hubs who must have been thinking, ‘what can of woman have I married o who’s bothered about not having conceived in 2 weeks of marriage. What will she do in 2 years?’

So yeah, what prompted me to do a test? The hubs noticed a cluster of pimples on my face and teased me about it. Well, I wasn’t finding anything pregnancy related funny so I proceeded to the closest MedPlus and got myself a test kit, read the instructions about 5 times then woke up bright and early the next morning to make sure the first day’s pee wouldn’t be diluted by water, pee-ed on the stick and said a prayer. TWO LINES!!! I repeated the test on the second morning because of false positives and voila!!! A confirmation!!!

IMG_2851

After being excited for a few minutes, paranoia set in: Will I be a good mom? Wait mom lohun lohun…will I miscarry? Will my child have defects and be sick as I had consumed some alcohol the week before? Will I have pregnancy ailments? Will I be fat and ugly with spots and swollen feet? Will my child be okay in there? I couldn’t believe how I became so obsessed with everything and so worried. I couldn’t accept the good news and be happy. I kept reminding myself that anything can go wrong so keep calm and take care of your child.

I ended up having a relatively easy pregnancy but it didn’t start easy. I remember my poor driver having to park on Third Mainland Bridge whilst I proceeded to empty the contents of my insides on the tarred road. I remembered how my colleagues nicknamed me Tsunami because mo man sun gan (I slept a lot), I remember how I would bleed for no reason and was convinced I had hurt my baby. I remember being diagnosed with fibroid and googling fibroids in pregnancy and being worried the growth will squash my baby. I remembered all the people I know who had died in childbirth and was worried praying hard that my baby will not call another woman mother. I remember my first naughty sip of coffee and how my baby kicked so hard after and was convinced that I had made him high on caffeine. So many fears.

All through, my hubs, S, kept me grounded. “Temi, where is your faith?”, he once asked. “You will pray and pray yet worry and worry. Is that not a sign that you truly don’t believe in God’s ability to take care of you?” Those words bore into my core and I decided to trust God and let Him take care of both myself and our child.

Little Peanut
Little Peanut

S wanted a a little cute girl. I was indifferent. I just wanted a healthy child but I sure was happy when I discovered: It’s a boy!!!

It's a boy!
It’s a boy!

To be continued…

Related to my Pregnancy Chronicles is this Question: Why do (Most) Nigerian women keep their pregnancy low key? In my defence, I still went for many weddings and parties and hung out a lot with my big belly. My Instagram pictures (@temiville) were never all bump though and only those with a gift for identifying even a week pregnancy could tell. Some people believe it is fear that people (aye) will hurt their baby. For me, I just didn’t see the need really. Amidst battling with severe morning (make that ALL FREAKING DAY) sickness, I just hardly had any post worthy photos. I did put these one up once though:

6 months gone
6 months gone

I saw this hilarious yet true post once and couldn’t help but chuckle at how much I can relate.

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Before I got pregnant, I remember asking a pregnant friend excitedly “when are you due?” I got daggers in her stare for an answer. Other questions that engender paranoia in preggies in Nigeria include: “is it a boy or a girl”? I have once gotten “It’s a healthy child” LOL! I hated my belly being rubbed though but not for spiritual reasons. I just hated the feeling but I once invited a few colleagues to feel for kicks.

For me, at work, as a newly married lady, I started getting the knowing glances way before I conceived. Every sneeze, cough or (heaven forbid) menstrual pain earned me the “congratulatory look”. LOL! I tried to keep it coded for the first 12 weeks just in case my earlier described fear materialised. I really didn’t wanna hear any “peles”.

One lesson I have learned is to stay grateful for everything and trust God who has begun a good thing to see it through to completion.

Ice Ice Baby!!!
Ice Ice Baby!!!

Gender

Pregnant woman showing off her belly with her unborn son
Pregnant woman showing off her belly with her unborn son

So what your views guys? Would you announce your pregnancy? Would you announce your baby’s sex or would you wait till you have the baby and write “Welcome Princess/Prince”? Do you get irked by those who are clearly pregnant yet hide it or worst still outrightly lie when you ask or send you a 🙂 smiley? I remember one of my very good friends whose bridesmaid I was who outrightly denied being pregnant when I asked yet 4 months after announced: Thank you Jesus for our beautiful son. Welcome to the world!

Looking forward to reading your views…

Temiville.xoxo

temi Written by:

20 Comments

  1. July 15, 2015
    Reply

    Hello Temi,

    I really enjoyed reading this, I awwed and laughed my way through this post.

    Indeed, God is faithful to complete the good work he’s started.

    So, lemme be cheeky, this really isn’t “how” you got pregnant 😉

    • July 15, 2015
      Reply

      lol!!! It certainly isn’t! Thank you for reading

  2. July 15, 2015
    Reply

    I remember one time I sent a congratulatory message to a friend on expecting another baby. My sister had seen her at an event and told me she was pregant like quater to born sef as in big belly cos she delivered like the next month… This is like childhood friends. Instead of her to just say thank you she started questioning me about who told me and refused to confirm that she was expecting a child… I just quickly said sorry oo… Maybe the person that saw you was blind! Lol
    I dont know why people act like that. I’m not one for sharing stuff that go on with me especially family and intimate stuff as long they suspect or know already what the heck… The blood of Jesus has been keeping somebody since, is it now it wants to fail…liess! I believe in respecting peoples privacy if im not told i wont ask and if i dont consider you close friend its not my business.
    Anyway congrats on your baby jare!

    • July 15, 2015
      Reply

      Thats just ridiculous!!! Thank you ojere

  3. July 15, 2015
    Reply

    I remember one time I sent a congratulatory message to a friend on expecting another baby. My sister had seen her at an event and told me she was pregant like quater to born sef as in big belly cos she delivered like the next month… This is like childhood friends. Instead of her to just say thank you she started questioning me about who told me and refused to confirm that she was expecting a child… I just quickly said sorry oo… Maybe the person that saw you was blind! Lol
    I dont know why people act like that. I’m not one for sharing stuff that go on with me especially family and intimate stuff as long they suspect or know already what the heck… The blood of Jesus has been keeping somebody since, is it now it wants to fail…liess! I believe in respecting peoples privacy if im not told i wont ask and if i dont consider you a close friend its not my business.
    Anyway congrats on your baby jare! And good question from early comment… Is that how you got pregnant… Holy spirit… Just kidding!

    • Tope
      July 15, 2015
      Reply

      Haha… hope you are back to stay. Would you be doing a post about how you met your husband? We would love to know your love story

      • July 16, 2015
        Reply

        Lol! Thanks. That story has different versions o. Il share my version soon but I can bet S will disagree.

      • July 16, 2015
        Reply

        Just seconding this motion. That is a big gap in the musings biko.

  4. impressed
    July 16, 2015
    Reply

    Congrats! Don’t worry my dear you are safe in Christ so don’t allow anyone to fill your head with juju nonsense about revealing that you’re pregnant. Pregnancy can’t be hidden anyway and lying is a sin. So any Christian who wants to lie about the pregnancy is committing a sin o! Let us rejoice in the Lord’s goodness.

    On another note, why is there a team “9 months after the wedding?” Don’t y’all wanna enjoy marriage first? 😛

    Last point. I think I have the same dress in your picture below.

    • July 16, 2015
      Reply

      LOL at Enjoy Marriage First. Mehn I have learned to enjoy marriage even with a child as no matter how long we wait we will spend more years as parents so I just thought to get on with it and enjoy it as we go 🙂

  5. Afiefa
    July 16, 2015
    Reply

    I’m a first time commenter but this is going to be long so please pardon me 🙂
    It was interesting to read all your fears about getting pregnant when you didn’t have any proven medical reason to be! I am 29. When I was 24, I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). (It’s another story how I went to a doctor here in West Africa (don’t want to be specific) with the same symptoms and the only question he asked me was if I had gone fooling around with my boyfriend and sent me home with no diagnosis, only to take the same symptoms to a GP in the UK two years later and have her get me take blood tests and scans!) The doctor looked me in the face and told me that It’ll be difficult for me to get pregnant and that when I’m ready to have kids, I should come see them…I’ve always since then been worried about if I’ll ever have kids easily. I remember being advised by an older married friend who also had PCOS and was having difficulties getting pregnant that I should immediately get married to my then boyfriend of five years and start working towards having kids….considering that we broke up after 9 years, I likely would have been divorced by now had I heeded her advice.
    Your post has however given me a level of reassurance…that when I get there, my fears are not only going to be because of what the doctor said (which I’ve cancelled in Jesus name.), but because I’m human….I don’t even know if this makes sense.

    • July 16, 2015
      Reply

      I totally relate to every single thing you have written and we must, like you have said, learn to banish fear. God cannot work in an environment laden with fear. He needs our faith to do His miracles and work in and through us like I know He will when you are ready to conceive. It shall be with ease. aNd yes, you make perfect sense!

      • Afiefa
        July 17, 2015
        Reply

        Amen! 🙂

    • July 17, 2015
      Reply

      Don’t worry about pcos. I had pcos and I have a one year old and I’m pregnant with no 2 now

      With exercise and drugs it is easily managed

      • Afiefa
        July 17, 2015
        Reply

        Thanks a lot! Hearing positive stories from people with pcos always helps 🙂

  6. Ogo Desh
    July 16, 2015
    Reply

    Hahaha….Congrats Temi and welcome to the beautiful world of motherhood 🙂

    You’re gangster o….looking for belle after the 1st month. Twale!! But I can totally relate to all those paranoia especially for a 1st time mom. In my case, I told God “this is your gift, you did the packaging so sort everything out”

    I recall a colleague who I noticed was pregnant (I was heavy at the time) and as soon as I mentioned that she looked like something was happening she quickly denied it. I didn’t understand why she had to lie about it. I guess it’s the culture we’ve inherited from our mothers.

    • July 19, 2015
      Reply

      LOL @ looking for belleh *covers face*

  7. August 25, 2015
    Reply

    I enjoyed reading this, not because of your fears (which I have too) but just everything about it. I also don’t understand the “need” for people to hide it, or just ignore it. Erm, I can clearly see that you’re pregnant, why are you pretending you’re not or why are you hiding it? Even my close cousin was preggers, and I asked her when she was due and was surprised that she was giving me the run-around – trust me, I stopped asking about her pregnancy after that.

    Since I’m a blogger, I’ve thought about whether I would announce it or not. I still haven’t decided. The only reason I would not announce it is simply fear. I watched a vlog where a woman talked about her miscarriage or something like that, and you will not believe that people attacked her – that enh, why was she even being public about being pregnant in the first place? ARE YOU *$^*%$%^ING KIDDING ME?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

    My dear, we’ll see abeg. Congratulations on your bundle!

    • August 26, 2015
      Reply

      Thanks Berry. I like your name o. I appreciate your comments and shall visit your blog. Thank you

  8. September 2, 2015
    Reply

    Hi Temi,
    Congrats on your child. So happy for you.

    I remember a friend who never told me she was pregnant until someone congratulated her on bbm on the birth of her daughter and when I asked her, she just smiled.
    I think it’s just a personal affair.
    Jesus gat me but a girl still gotta look out for herself.

    I’d just leave them guessing till the tiny patter of feet arrives.

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