Too tall for a girl?

Ok, so I’m no amazonian girl as I’m only 5′ 9.5″. But all through my life, I’ve always been the tallest girl, if not person, everywhere I’ve been: primary school, secondary school (both of them), A Level College (both of them), university (both of them), choir (both of them)! Complete strangers used to stop me suggesting a career plan for me ‘Oh, you should model or play basketball’. People also usually felt the need to ask ‘how tall are you?’ and when I tell them, there’s this look of disappointment as though they expected me to be much taller (why don’t they just accept that they are short!?)

As a young girl, my mom and my aunt used to gosh over me, ‘oh Temi, look at your long legs and your beautiful height’, ‘you are so regal’, ‘you have such great carriage’ blah blah blah…I hated it! I saw it as a burden, a hindrance to having  ‘normal life’. I hated hanging out with short people because such an association would pronounce and accentuate my height. I absolutely loved hanging out with fellow tallies. They were ‘safe’ to be around because, at least then, I would not stand out.  I had also mastered the art of slouching with style when taking pictures with shorter friends so I would not look ‘strangely tall’.


lol! ok, it's not this pronounced


When I was about 12, I remember going out with my mom and her friends would gasp when I told them my age saying they could have sworn that I was at least 16! I used to smile cutely all the while hating them internally. They thought it was a gift. I was sure it was a curse-a punishment for some sin I must have committed whilst in the womb. Maybe I kicked my mom too much (just a thought). Although, I don’t have most of these feelings anymore and I am extremely grateful to God for all my 34 inches of  legs, I still have some battles I face  as a taller-than-most-girls girl.

As any tall girl would know, the Number 1 painful thing about being so vertically endowed is that you see all those lovely shoes in the shops but unfortunately, unless you wanna look like a strange being from another planet, you dare not step foot in them or even pick them up to admire them before the customer beside you gives you ugly stares for even thinking you could wear such! I have a few (very few) tall friends who really couldn’t be bothered. They rock their heels away!

I love high heels. As in so much. But unfortunately, unless I want to stand out in the choir for all the wrong reasons, I have to stick to my reasonable heels. There was even a guy in my former choir who hated me standing by him when in heels because I became his height! Lol, bless him. In addition to all these, I have the issue of never finding the right L34 pair of jeans/pants that will not turn into ‘Michael Jackson’ trousers. The ones I find end up being so unflattering and ill-fitting.

Well now to the koko aka crux of the matter: I would hate to date a short man! *bows head in shame for not being spiritual enough* I feel so bad about this confession because its like I should just be praying and accept whatever God deems fit. But as we tallies would know, short men seem to have no such inhibitions! They boldly approach you and you think to yourself …’Why oh Why? But meeeeeehhhn! As in NAH MATE! Ees ok. Cheers. It’s not happening! How else can I express how much I’m not gonna have a shorter husband in Jesus’ name?!

I love Creflo Dollar’s teaching on the issue. He thinks whilst it is important to be spiritual, you have to ask God for what you want… Watch his sermon here. He’s so real…




Here is a picture of Oluchi and Luca Luca, her husband. She definitely does not see height as anything but a number!

I have been taught not to be giving God rules and regulations of marriage partner but God did say ‘Ask and you shall receive’ (Matthew 7:7) so dear Daddy in Heaven, pretty please can he be at least 6 3′? Ok, let me not be too demanding-anything over 6 would do.

Loads of love,

Your daughter, T. x

PS: I think this height difference would be pushing it a tad. 😀




In other news, I’m presently watching Episode 6 of ANTM’s Cycle 15. Loving it so far!

That’s all folks (for now)



  1. Sometimes we look at people and envy them, seeing you I’d have thought you were completely at peace with ur self, beautiful skinny and all, I fight with my weight, I I’m about 5 8′ and I guess everyone has issues, don’t worry God will bless you with a guy above 6ft , maybe just at 6 1′, too tall makes a guy seem clumsy :), loved your post, let’s all be perfect in our imperfections

  2. ha…dont worry. God hears our heart desires you hear?

    But really you sould be cool with ur height…if you had a chance would you want to be shorter?

    eh ehm and if you do marry a shorter man reemember Oluchi did it and is still breathing…hahaha

  3. I stumbled upon ur blog and read some of ur posts and was very impressed especially being a Christian and a lover of caramel induced beverage until reading this particular post and being irked by this statement, ‘But as we tallies would know, short men seem to have no such inhibitions! They boldly approach you and you think to yourself …’Why oh Why? But meeeeeehhhn! As in NAH MATE! Ees ok. Cheers. It’s not happening!’. I was like, Damn! Dudette just struck a nerve – I’m 5′ 8 and i’m meant to be officially short and thinking that could have been me – lol

    I respect your honesty about not dating guys that are shorter than you and i get this same quote from some of my galfriends who actually have a rule they use : Girl + high heels < Guy's height = Dating – I made that formula up but i hope you get the idea. I always tell them they are shallow and quote some scriptures but it seems never to work – More on them later in this thesis ……..

    What's in a height when there are far more important attributes needed in choosing the right spouse – Spirituality, Career, Charity, Goals and Ambition, Family …….?

    I wish i had the time to watch the Creflo Dollar video you so much hold to heart, but what about his other teachings on Obedience to God? Is that not WORTH more than what we want for ourselves? Yes, u are quite right about Matt 7:7, so in the spirit of things, may i ask u father God, can i be 3 or 4 inches more taller today while a child in Africa is praying, God can u pls provide me with some food to eat and clean water to drink so that i won't starve to death like my brother – We probably cld take a wild guess on whats more important to God.

    Back to my galfriends – Some are hitting late 20's and early 30's and are now desperate to marry. The 'short' guy of earlier years now seems more attractive and not that short anymore but dude wouldn't allow is time to be wasted or his confidence destroyed for something he has no control over and so has moved on, found himself a MATURE babe who knows that a good marriage is built on Christ's solid rock and not on a sand – The physical. At least, If u r fat, u hit the Gym and watch the calories; if u r ugly, u get a good barber, fix up and look sharp; if u r short, u?

    I'm not in anyway trying to change ur view but just trying to help you see the view of many God fearing, hard working, successful SHORT guys who are not Tom Cruise, JD, Bernie Ecclestone or Prophet Gilbert Ossei and wouldn''t ever get the chance to show you that there's more to them than being SHORT.

    While pointing a finger at you and my galfriends, i'm pointing 4 at moir. Would i date a ugly gal? I guess we are all the same just in different ways ………… We only survive by his grace.

    – Tee, A short black guy who is happily engaged to a beautiful gal (wink wink).

    1. Thanks for your comment Tee. Really appreciate as it demonstrates that you took time out to read my blog. I understand your being ‘irked’ by my personal preferences but I tried to keep it balanced by making it clear it was just a wish I nurse. I am not staging a crusade against man-with-taller-girl relationships. I have seen many happy ones and one of my friends not too long ago got into a very happy one. No discrimination intended. I’m just airing my views.

      Whilst not losing sight of what is spiritual-God fearing, caring etc, as you point out, I think one should also be honest with one’s self about what you can live and cant’t live with, or more mildly, would struggle with. You might be a confident dude who is totally unperturbed by being with a taller lady, some other person might consider it quite daunting. That does not make them any less spiritual or oblivious to the real things that matter in life.

      Like you noted, it would be foolhardy to ask God to add inches to you or for me to ask God to take from mine (not like I’d ever ask that-Im thankful for my height), but what can be done is to ask God to bring someone our way who we will love just the way they are and likewise and who we won’t be uncomfortable around for any reason. So if God aint increasing dude’s height, He sure can increase dude’s confidence and vice versa.

      I’m certain there are loads of fellow tallies who are so lost in the spirit to care about such trivialities and mundane matters as height. I, however, am not one of them. Until God makes it clear that He wants me to be married to a shorter guy, I shall stay on my knees and make my requests for a taller man (amongst other considerations) known to Him.

      Congrats on your engagement! Ire a kari o. *wink wink*xxx

      1. Hi Temiville, my friend (Tee above) sent me this Blog about 4 hours ago and I’ve only just managed to find time to glance through and take in what the write up is all about. I’m an adult male, in my mid 30’s, unmarried, almost 6 ft tall, a Christian, and trust me; I have dated, lusted, experienced the highs & Lows of life, learnt my lesson, and still make some repeated mistakes, but most importantly; any time I repeat the mistakes I can identify with it and remember when I last made it, if I don’t… I’m reminded by a few close friends that I have, Tee included 🙂 . But over all; I have learnt one thing about choosing; TO LIVE IS TO CHOOSE AND TO CHOOSE WELL YOU HAVE TO KNOW WHO YOU ARE, WHAT YOU WANT VERSUS WHAT YOU NEED, WHERE YOU WANT TO GO, AND WHY YOU WANT TO GO THERE. Over the past 2-3 years I have tried to apply this principle to everything I do; making life decisions…….most especially dating, which will eventually decide who I’ll spend the rest of my life with, which as you would agree is very important in the scheme of our lives.

        Now, to the issue of height and our individual preferences; different people are at different stages in their life, have different experiences, different expectations, are differently inclined spiritually, and as such I’d expect everybody to KNOW differently, think differently, decide differently, and most importantly; end up with the consequences of our individual Decisions. I tend to like/want a slim and tall woman with fair skin, and not very big breasts……well at least that was my fantasy till i learnt the hard way. I am not one to claim that looks are not important, they are quite important and go a long way initially in determining our attraction to the opposite sex. The reason why I used the word initially is cause; ‘LOOKS SOON FADE’ but mind you; the person that used to be beautiful (Tall) to you will not seize to be tall ( attractive ), but the issue is that when the storms of life blows your way in a relationship/marriage, what will keep your union going strong? Is it the height? The person’s skin tone, the person’s long hair, your partner’s career? your partner’s beauty? I don’t think so. What brought the two of you together in the first place will determine how your relationship will survive and last for ever when the going gets tough. If it was the person’s height that attracted you to them, you will have to deal with other areas of their life. Please don’t take this as me saying looks/height/attraction dont matter, they matter but the key thing is to balance things up by realising how to mix up the qualities we look for in people we date, and be realistic about our expectations especially when we’re looking to date with marriage as our Focus.

        As a guy I have realised the ingredients that will make a woman more attractive to me beyond how tall or beautiful she is on the eyes…which must have attracted me to her in the first place, those ingredients are referenced to as ‘WHAT I NEED’ for my life at the end of the day. And women should be more careful about this area, our black women especially.

        A woman who is tall/beautiful in my eyes must love me, must look up to me, must be kind to me, must have reverence for me, must encourage me, must respect me, must pray with me, must defend me, and I will indeed profess my love to her, protect her, and provide for her. Women should use these principles as their guide in addition to praying to God for a tall knight in shining armour. I see a lot of girls/women in bad relationships………. experience is a great teacher, the fees are just very expensive. I’ll save your Blog/site in my favourite and check it out from time-to-time.

        1. El’Pee. Thanks for taking time out to read and comment on my blog. Love your view because you impress on us the importance of striking a balance between the physical and the spiritual. Undoubtedly, the physical will mostly diminish if not totally fade away leaving behind what will usually stand the test of time-character, godliness etc. However, it would be self-delusive to imagine that looks mean nothing. You have brought these points to the fore very well.

          I think it is possible for a man to have the ideal Proverbs 31 woman in terms of character who also has the physical attributes he desires in a wife. Likewise, I do not think it is impossible for a woman to have a man who will follow the biblical admonition: Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her but yet she is not jus managing physically.

          I am not a believer in the fact that one has to choose between the physical or the spiritual. I am no kid either. I am realistic but I do know that God is not miserly in His blessings. He knows what is important to each person more that we ourselves know and He will give us just that.

          In your spare time, please read this:

          Thanks for saving my blog. You can recommend it to your friends too 😀

  4. Girl, what can I say I am average height (5ft. 3 – well It’s average to me, and so I am sticking to it :)); but I have often wondered what it must feel like looking down from such great height.. .. Your blog has been very entertaining :0, oooh and thanks for passing by mine..cherio mi dear..

  5. ha ha ha i’m opposite to you and i’ve learnt to love my petite frame (until i started getting wider – which i am putting a stop to now!)

    Abraham’s servant put a request in before he found Isaac’s wife so yah go for it! Ask and it shall be given and if He dont give you, thats cos ya dont need it. He’ll find you one that will make you happy anyroad!

    Take care

  6. i would never have thought you would have a problem with a height you know! I wanted to be a couple of inches taller. But…… having said that, I always act as if i am taller than I am and having the guts to say to my friends.. ‘you are short o’ lol when I am only 5’5.5 or 5’6 i am not sure.

    but as for dating short men… the short men i know usually run away from tall girls o.. because they automatically assume they are too short for u.. as in u wont accept them, not running away because they dont want u to look too tall beside them but interesting sha..

    ta xx

  7. Hi Temiville, Im almost 6 feet tall. I mean as soon as I venture into any form of heels however low, I become a six footer. I understand where you are coming from totally.

    Most women want to be held and feel safe in their man’s arms (when they eventually marry) but being taller than a man makes that awkward and sometimes impossible.

    I used to look at girls cuddling in the arms of their men and tell God that I want that too. I want to be able to be held without looking like a giant! So its not really about discrimination. It’s just a want of mine.

    I used to appear unrealistic but today, I’m happy in a relationship with a man who is taller than I am. Also because I am slim and he is much bigger, I got my wish of being held in his arms and feeling safe.

    It might seem a non-spiritual request but God granted it and yet I didnt have to lose out on the spiritual side too because my partner is God fearing, God loving, God revering. I thought I was an SU till I met him. He builds me up spiritually and yet I smile when he walks in because he is physically on point too.

    Temiville, prayers are answered.

  8. a very interesting write-up indeed. just having some form of mixed feelings going tru the comments.
    well for starters, heard some1 say if you are too short, remember Gods word – “Lo i am with you” and if u r too tall your confession is -” no mountain too high…”
    i believe every1 should be proud of his/her height. i am about 6ft but remember taking a picture with some friends and felt like some shorty- wondering why i dint eat much of beans when i was much younger. lol
    anyway, wont mind having a tall girl as a gf – not taller than me though. i guess i would just have some1 who loves me the way i am and likes what she sees.
    it is very important that you like what you see, tall, slim, fat, short…… it goes along way, be physically attracted to the person but be understand that it varies.
    i understand the fact that standing with a very tall person can be intimidating but programme you mindset that you are the best . heard some Ladies have a formula 1 called TDH- tall, dark and handsome.
    Be proud of your height peeps.

    1. Doyin, I love your small boobs post! lol. Very entertaining yet deep. I love it! I love my height ojere. I just want to be with an equally vertically blessed man…hehehe

  9. lol i am not even goin to look at a short man twice … we can be the same height that is fine..but shorter than i am…oh hecks to the no. ok i am just being realistic here. Since i am 5ft8 i have dated 5ft8 and i hardly wore heels when i was with him, i love my heels. Dude i am datin now is 6ft3 so i knack my 4 to 5 inch heels and i look 6ft …thats how i like it . the inner and spiritual attitude matters so does the physical, lets be real…nice write up temi.

  10. I’m the same height as you and I LOVEEEEE MY HEELS…my motto is He shall grant me my heart’s desire and since he knows what i need, then hey why worry….needless to say I have only dated guys above 6ft …

    1. Hey Sheila what’s up/ Didn’t know you dated strictly Tall Guys! Anyways, You didn’t reveal that to your’s sincerely all the while you were in Jand. Catch you on BB. El’ Pee

  11. lovely blog….i understand your point, i have similar views …i love my height…and even though the inside matters..the outside has to be attractive especially to me…..

  12. Hmmm >temi Temi Temi……. This all sounds familiar. Expect my epistle at some point today. Also look out form my up coming article….

  13. Haa… I cant count how many times I have read this particular piece. But this time, I have to comment because I chatted with an extremely tall girl yesterday who had always been percieved as a snob by ev/1 (including me).

    We got talking and I told her straight-up that I used to think she was a snob. She said she had learnt over time to keep to herself often. …Feeling like a Dr. Phil, I said “hmmm, did you always feel out of place growing up?” She looked at me in sharp surprise and gasped, “how did you know?”… story to be continued.

    The morale of my story is that, perhaps we should cut tall girls some slack. If they want tall boys, they know what they are saying. And if they ignore you short ones, they really dont know how to “bend down and talk to you” (speaking figuratively).

    In my little lifetime, I have come to realize that short people are overly defensive and assertive, because they always feel everyone wants to take advantage of them. But that is a story for another MUSE. Ciao guys… this blog rocks!!!

  14. Hi just happened upon your blog and must say i am loving,all you said just kind of took me back to when i was much younger,we really must have lead parallel lives cause everything you said was down to a T. Well i’m 6ft 3 and yes i do rock my heels no apologies to anyone,will not date someone shorter,not being vain, just cannot and i am so with you on the MJ pants

  15. Lol. Temi talking about too tall, Are you indirectly yabbing me?

    My height used to be a big issue when I was young cos a normal trouser at Xmas would be Michael Jackson style by Easter. Being so tall, you can be mischievious in school because your teachers would spot you easily and even ppl used to think I was older than i was. When in school and we erred, the teachers would usually tell me, “You being the eldest, should know better” LOL

    Some negatives come with it like being cramped up in buses and planes, You cant choose a shoe, pants or shirt without first checking the size, sleeping diagonally on king size beds else your legs would be shooting out etc
    You know when I was 17yrs and at 6ft 3, I went to meet a doctor at Crystal Hospital and asked if there was a medication that could make me shorter. He laughed.

    Now It has become my identity, That I have gotten used to being the tallest in any gathering, The few times I got close to ppl taller than me, i was actually scared.

    Last week in the elevator a man just said to me “Dude, you stole my height, I wanted to be 6ft5 all my life”. Similar comments have come regularly. even the nasty ones like sometime back, 2 girls during break asked for my shoe size and were trying to make some deductions (Let me stop here)

    Being tall as a dude comes with “perks” like looking down at everyone, getting noticed by girls. No girl is too tall for you. Especially in this part of the world where everyone wants a tall guy or to be the mother of the next LeBron James.

    I guess I have to thank God for his free gift of height.

    He should do something more for me, Distribute wealth according to height and you have right here the next Donald Trump 😛

  16. erm . .hold on . .you are 5 ft 11 and you are saying that’s too tall.. lol my best pal is female and she is 6 ft 2 tall, her sister’s 6 ft4 tall and both of them rock heels, i may be your height , i am also tall about 5’11 too but i have no worries about my height, infact i wish i was taller!! I would never date a guy am taller than though, i prefer guys taller . Funnily i have never had any problems attracting guys, both tall and short, most guys prefer tall ladies . .

  17. Hi Temiville, epistle has been blown off my head, the strain of being enslaved with its untold mental and plain physical drain can knock Off you already full cup, but hey I’d rather that than a problem free life. Yuk ! that must be boring. Anyway …… her’s a snippet from one I read earlier

    If a man wants a woman who doesn’t want him, he cannot win. His
    neediness will undermine any possible relationship, and his woman will
    never be able to trust him. A man must determine whether a woman
    really wants him but is playing hard to get, or whether she really doesn’t
    want him. If she doesn’t want him, he should immediately cease
    pursuing her and deal with his pain by himself.

    If you ever find yourself in a situation where you want to be with a woman but she doesn’t want to be with you, you must speak with your friends. Ask them to be honest with you. Ask them if they think this woman really does want to be with you, or if she really doesn’t. If your friends honestly tell you that this woman doesn’t want to be with you, it is over. You cannot enjoy a good relationship with her, even if she changes her mind. Once she feels your neediness, once she feels that you need her more than she needs you, she will never trust your masculine core. The priority of the masculine core is mission, purpose, or direction in life. The priority of the feminine core is the flow of love in intimacy. If a woman feels your feminine is stronger than hers—if she feels that the intimacy is more important to you than to her—then she will naturally animate her masculine. She will want space, she will want freedom to pursue her own direction, and she will be repulsed by your clinginess. You are only punishing yourself when you want to be in a relationship with a woman more than she wants to be in a relationship with you. Of course, you must discriminate between whether she is playing “hard to get” or whether she is genuinely less interested in the relationship than you. This is why you should ask your friends, and even her friends. If it turns out that she really doesn’t want to be with you as much as you want to be with her, then it is time to realize the relationship won’t work. In such a case, the poles have become reversed, with your feminine desire for love meeting her masculine desire for freedom. This is not viable grounds for intimacy between a man with a masculine essence and a woman with a feminine essence. It is better to move on and work with your hurt than it is to continue demonstrating that your feminine desire is stronger than hers.

    1. now reading and found this question interesting ‘Anyway what do you think ppl ? BTW if a sister has not been endowed facially or physically what is she to do ?’ Hehehe. That’s a funny question.

      Beauty is in the eye of the observer…To her Mr Right, a woman will always be stunning. So she should ask God to send the right man her way and that none other than His perfect will should ‘find’ her.


  18. hiii temi,
    i totally understand oooo…. we re about the same height as well but i happen to be plus sized… u are lucky to be skinny… all my life i have been plus sized and trust Nigeria, i have been called everything from orobo to fatty bom bom to fatso… its only now that i am an adult that i have come to terms with my weight…. i used to think dat boys wouldnt like me or dat i wnt find clothes my size but i realise now that is a lie…. Almost all high street stores sell clothes my size nd boys will come depending on how you carry yourself…. Some boys dnt like “plus sized girls”… Dats their personal thing…
    There are things i still have to deal with like people saying mean things about fat people on twitter nd all that. Aside from that, i am really comfortable with my size and i try nt to eat any wrong food and at least walk for 20 minutes everyday….. I have now realised that i dont have the same fat burning mechanism like a lot of people. I have to work extra to avoid weight gain…
    So yeah that is it… you are really talented Temi.. I Love your blog.

  19. I’m also 34 inches long, so I feel you all the way on the issues you highlighted. On the point you raised on not wanting to get married to a shorter man, I like how you responded to a comment with ….Until God makes it clear that He wants me to be married to a shorter guy, I shall stay on my knees and make my requests for a taller man (amongst other considerations) known to Him.

    I love your blog

  20. Am around your height too – .5 tho lol.. Some guys in my church don’t even like siting close to me and funny enough I have a corner I have always sat for the past two yrs. I remember this day, I got to church and sat down then prayer started only to open my eyes later and he was no longer there (dude changed his sit). Am lucky my darling is a bit taller than me but when am in heels we are the same height or am a bit taller than him but we re happy. You’d be suprised to know that my 2 immediate juniors are taller than me (we re giants) yay us!!!!!!!! :)…

    1. lol! yay y’al!!!

      You really cracked me up with the story of the guy who left his seat. Tew funny. I guess it is about insecurity sha. About your little corner, once it is not a product of your confidence being knocked, that’s fine. Please don’t let anything take you into and keep you in a corner. Shine hun! Tall is beautiful.x

  21. temmmmmmmmmmmmmmi, i don’t what am doing on this particular post because it is old, but here I am , and i can’t stop laughing, i guess everyone should just be happy with God has given them,I am short , really petite, as I love to tell everyone , and I really love it and i carry myself well, with or without heels
    p.s: i hate heels , so most times i am always short.

  22. I absolutely LOVE the write-ups on your blog! Being reading older articles since yesterday! I must have come across your name a number of times on Bella Naija but only just got around visiting today!

    This write-up is so on-point!I’m a 5″8 babe and must have been like this through Junior Secondary so I always looked tall in the midst of my friends. My heels wearing didn’t help matters too. Anytime we wanted to take family pictures back then, I had to stand beside my brother as my sisters (3 of them) insisted I dwarfed them since they are all on the ‘rather’ short side!lol

    Good thing thing though, I still love and wear heels. Some say it intimidates men, but trust me the one that is mine will truly appreciate them on me!

    Keep up the good work girlfriend, I have bookmarked your page.

    Remain blessed & highly favored..xoxo

  23. Temi, we have to be friends!!! I’ve been the tallest everywhere I go all my life, α̲̅πϑ it’s really given me psych issues. Came to terms with it in my 2nd year of the university, though I can never wear heels. I love hanging out with tall guys, my 1st best friend in uni is almost as tall as I am, α̲̅πϑ my 1st α̲̅πϑ only ex-bf so far is a bit shorter than I (I think that had a minor role to play in the death of the r/ship). And the issues with clothes α̲̅πϑ shoes…are still issues. Girl, I’m gonna join you in praying 4 tall guys 4 us. I’ve only been praying according to Eph. 5:25,28.
    Ųя blog is a real treasure!

  24. hahahahahaha. I have to laugh first. You’re so inspiring. I’m so so tall and i never get to find anything my size. After reading this, i’m so encouraged. But honestly your pics don’t make you look so tall o. You’re just good with words.

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